nue:

life hack: can’t do homework if you don’t have a home. burn it down you piece of shit

jaclcfrost:

[finds the most sarcastic asshole in the series] my love

Asked my grandma to make me pancakes.

liamschesthair:

liamschesthair:

it’s never a bad time for anal

OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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extraterrestrialskies:

i wish i had this advice when i was 16. 

touchmykittykat:

forever-dirty-minded:

Let me be your:

7am morning fuck before you go to work

Midday text, letting you know that you’re on my mind

5pm cuddle after a long days work

11pm rough fuck as i pound away the frustrations of your day

2am soft whisper in your ear, as i tell you “i love you”

Babe

satan-ist:

all my friends are suddenly getting into relationships and losing their virginities and i’m still a loser who gets 0 attention from guys

*me when i was thirteen*

dragon-in-a-fez:

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

you just put every marriage counsellor out of business

Anonymous: uhh tips for high school??

fouette:

drink lots of alcohol. kiss lots of boys. don’t get a bf they’re annoying

lamelohan:

 when someone tries to eat my food:

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